Spuds 2 - Duds 0

Tottenham Hotspur v Newcastle United.
White Hart Lane.
Tuesday 28th December 2010.
3pm Kick-Off.

Player Ratings:

Krul: 7/10 - His distribution was much better than the Man City game, although that wasn’t difficult! Cleared his lines well under pressure & made a good save tipping the ball over the bar from a Van Der Vaart free-kick, before producing an outstanding save from Roman Pavlyuchenko in first half stoppage time - aided & abetted by the post.

Simpson: 6/10 - Could & should have read the threat for the second goal better. Bale will get all the “Welsh Pele” plaudits once again, but Danny could have done more to stop the threat. Confused going forward & couldn’t make his mind up if he should attack or not, so kept getting caught in no-mans land. Aside from the sheep-shagger’s goal though, he kept Bale fairly quiet.

S. Taylor: 5/10 - Seems to have been included in the starting line-up only on the back of his new contract. There’s no guarantees that Williamson would have played any better than Saylor, but he certainly wouldn’t have done any worse. He needs to prove his worth now and hopefully won’t slip into the Shola Ameobi comfort zone now he’s getting his wedge for the next 5 and a half years.

Coloccini: 5/10 - Looks so much more comfortable with Williamson next to him in defence. Played as if he’d only been introduced to Saylor in the dressing room 5 minutes before kick-off. Was a bit headless at times & was caught following the ball on occasion. Seems to have lost his excellent early season form, and appears to be very much a confidence player.

Perch: 4/10 - Although he started fairly well against Aaron Lennon, this didn’t last & he was at fault for the first goal by allowing the tiny Tottenham terror to twist & turn his way past him. To be honest, hasn’t improved one jot since we bought him, starting off craply at right-back and now he’s crap at left back too. Shouldn’t be allowed to watch NUFC on the telly let alone play for us. I’d rather have an unfit Enrique than a fully-fit Perch every day of the week, Perch shouldn’t even be a squad-player. Must be the first one out of the door in January.

Routledge: 2/10 - Crap. Simple as that. Played too close to Simpson and didn’t use his pace except to leave the pitch at the final whistle. First of all, what's the point in having the pace if you don't use it? Secondly, even when he does use it, he has no end product. Didn’t trouble anyone except my brainpower trying to think up more insults for this waste of a shirt. May as well have not bothered even playing. If his house was on fire I have no doubt he would end up running around in circles until it burnt down around him……

Barton: 7/10 - NUFC’s best player today, although that’s not saying very much….. His delivery from free-kicks and corners was poor by his usual high standards, but he stood up well to non-stop grief from the crowd and non-stop hoofing up the arse and wind-ups from the Spurs players who were obviously sent out to try and wind him up. A rare off-day for Joey, and he will know - as much as we do - that he can & will play much better this season. Along with Peter Lovenkrands, Joey was the only Newcastle player who really put any effort into applauding the travelling fans.

Tiote: (subbed - Lovenkrands - 78 mins) 6/10 - Not his best game in a black & white shirt, but battled away and never gave up the cause. Kept getting caught in possession and his passing wasn’t as good as we’ve come to expect from him. He has set a very high standard for himself and didn’t live up to it today. It was criminal to take him off when the likes of Routledge & Smith remained on the pitch. Was involved in the Younes Kaboul sending off - although I missed the incident thanks to the twatty steward who kept standing in front of me (something which I was informed he does on a regular basis) - until after this incident when I had him ejected by his supervisor & the friendly, funny Gooner rozzer who was stood next to me in the second half game!

Smith: 4/10 - More pedestrian than the people walking along Tottenham High Road before the match. Seemed disinterested from the first minute to the last and contributed nothing of note. If he played in my local pub 5-a-side team he’d be dropped after this display. He wasn’t the worst Newcastle player on the pitch, but he tried his best to be. I think Smudge’s best days are long behind him & he doesn’t contribute to the depth of the squad in any way. His selection is always met with cries of “fucking Smith?” from Newcastle fans whenever his name is on the team sheet. Still, at least he’s not Danny Guthrie….

Gutirrez: (subbed - Ranger - 67 mins) 2/10 - Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear….. The above comments for Routledge all apply to Jonas today too. Played like Laurent Robert did when he couldn’t be bothered either, and will end up through the same exit door as the moody Frenchman unless he bucks his ideas up sharpish. Can’t beat his man, can’t cross, can’t head, can’t shoot, can’t tackle, can’t keep up with play, can’t track back, can’t be bothered.

Carroll: 6/10 - Wasn’t his normal imposing self today due to a lack of service and as a result he only really had one half-chance - putting a first-half header onto the roof of the net. He did, however, run after every ball & lost cause like he was a Jack Russell chasing a tennis ball in the park - as he always does. He must have looked around the dressing room after the final whistle & wondered why he bothered to put so much effort in when too many of his team-mates didn't seem interested. We’d be lost without the big fella if he left as without him, we have very little else to offer up front.

Subs:

Lovenkrands (for Tiote - 78 mins): 5/10 - Ok, confession time: I like Mr Lovenpants. I think he’s our best natural finisher by a mile and stays cool, calm and collected when he’s on the ball. He proved all these traits with his match-winning goal away to QPR on the last day of last season. Vastly underrated and underused this season, he didn’t get enough time to strut his stuff today, but showed intelligence with his touch and passing. Needs more of a chance and a run in the team to show his worth.

Ranger (for Gutirrez - 67 mins): 5/10 - Didn’t have as much impact as his previous outings from the bench, but still causes the opposition problems a la Tino Asprilla, as defences don’t know what he’s going to do next - as I doubt he does himself! Still young and learning his trade, he needs to mature quickly and a goal would do his game and his composure the world of good. Personally, I would have started him up front with Big Andy yesterday (leaving Smith on the bench) playing a 4-4-2 instead of the ineffectual 4-5-1.